Avoidance Promotes Anxiety by Lynn Harnack, MA
I am sure anyone who reads this knows on some level by what I mean when I write “Avoidance Promotes Anxiety”, I mean, who hasn’t procrastinated on a paper and in the back of their mind kept thinking about the paper which caused anxiety. To clarify, anxiety in this case is what causes our heart to beat faster, breath to become shallow, hands, voice, or possibly whole body to shake, or possibly chest to tighten. I am sure there is a longer list of what anxiety causes in our bodies, I know that it is also something that most of us in today’s busy world have some kind of relationship with.
It’s not a terrible thing that we feel fear when faced with the unknown. It is part of being alive, something we all share. – Pema Chodron
I love this quote. I think she is right on; it isn’t terrible that we feel fear however; I think the terrible part can be when we start to avoid situations. It is like we miss out on a growing opportunity and we miss out on what it is like to be human. I also know that when avoiding has become the norm, we aren’t sure how to stop. I mean it is almost like actually finishing something and going into it becomes unknown and scarier.
There is hope! What if you let go one step at a time? And when I say one step I mean a baby toe step at a time! As I often say to my clients “I don’t expect you to run 20 miles tonight” and I mean it! How about showing up to the start line tonight instead? Those of us who suffer from anxiety do not always know how to just stay at the start line, it is more like you show up there and then expect yourself to run the 20 miles! Well, talk about anxiety provoking!!
So, where to start and stay with yourself? Well, how about using some mindfulness? First, identify the problem; sure, analyze it a little- and I mean a little! What is the problem? What does it require of you and how do you feel about it- how does your body feel? What emotions come up as you think about it?
Okay, that’s enough of that! I mean, some anxiety comes up, right?! Well let’s just slow down here… I did ask you to go into some feeling stuff, which brings up the flight or fight feeling I am sure. So this is the start line. It isn’t too bad, look at what you do naturally around this situation. This is the first step to overcoming avoidance, it is all about noticing.
Change does not take place through a coercive attempt by the individual or by another person to change him, but it does take place if one takes the time and effort to be what he is- to be fully invested in his current positions. – Edwin Nevis
